My weight gain story

Hey y’all this is not going to be a normal happy post talking about the latest and greatest product I have tried, and I’m loving. Today I’m getting real.

Most of you don’t know that I haven’t been heavy all my life. My weight issues first started in high school. I had a boyfriend that I thought I “loved” and all we did was eat out, and go home and sit around. I was 16 and stupid! I got up to about a size 14. After we broke up and I started doing my normal things like hanging out with friends again the weight just  started to fall off. I got back down to about a 8 or a 9. I was happy!

Then I met my now husband, and this is where the real weight gain started. I was just about to turn 18 when we meet. I gradually started to gain weight, and before I knew it I was in a size 18. I remember going shopping and trying clothes. I tried on a 14 didn’t fit, 16 didn’t fit. That was the last size at this particular store, and I remember thinking, “where am I going to shop?” I had never been this big in my life. I had no clue where to buy “plus size” clothes. I had never been “plus size.”  I remember being so embarrassed and playing it off like I just didn’t like the clothed I tried on.

I got pregnant with my daughter in December 2004, and I was about a size 18. I was horribly sick with the ALL DAY morning sickness.  I’m taking everything I put in my mouth I threw up. Even water. I know, disgusting. I actually lost 25lbs. Now that I think back that was probably  a blessing, because I probably would have eaten everything in sight, and gained 50+ lbs. I was lucky because I lost the weight I had gained from being pregnant before I even left the hospital. Yeah, I was totally the girl that wore her pre pregnancy jeans right after giving birth. Holla!!! After I gave birth I eat like crap! I was breastfeeding and getting up in the middle of the night and eating oatmeal pies not one but two, and just eating whatever. I was hungry because I was burning calories from breastfeeding. At some point I got up to about a size 20.

When I got pregnant with Abigail. I was sick again, and again I lost 25 lbs to only gain 12lbs back.  I maintained this weight for a while. I started working again so I started to lose some weight. I got down to about a size 16/18. My weight was really all over the place at this point. I was stressed to the MAX. My husband and I separated for about 6 months, my husbands 17 year old brother died. I was a single mom working a crap ton of hours, living with my parents. It was a nightmare!

Things started to settle down. My husband and I worked out the issues  we were having, mostly he was having with his little brother’s death. Me and the girls moved back into our home. This is where the weight started creeping back, and I mean with avengance. I got up to 270lbs in just a few months. I remember being at my best friend’s house and stepping on the scale and almost shitting myself because I couldn’t believe I weighed 270 lbs. What a fat ass! So I got my ass in gear. I started exercising, and eating 1200 calories a day. Before I knew it I had lost 40lbs!  I was super excited because we were going on a trip to Disney World with my best friend and her family!

I felt great, I felt like I had this in the bag, honey! I got to Disney, and shit got real deep. We went all out, and got the best of the best meal plan they had. We ate until we could eat any more. Disney knows how to feed folks, ok? So needless to say I fell off the band wagon, and I have never got back on.

Today, I am rocking 285 lbs! Ridiculous!  I have never been this big in my whole life, and I’m over. I wrote this post today not because I’m ashamed. I’m writing the post because I need to do something about it, and I need all of your support, and I need you all to hold me accountable. I need to be honest, and let you know I’m a binge eater.  I will go to a drive through and get an order of cookies and eat them all. I got to Burger King and get two Hershey pies and eat both of them, then go home and eat dinner. I eat fast food 5 times or more a week!

Today is where it stops. I will not  go through a drive through and order two pies and eat them both. I will not. I’m done. No more fast food for me! I will carry my ass into the store, and buy a premade salad before I put another cheeseburger into my mouth.

This was really hard to be honest about this secret I have been keeping from everyone. I knew I had to honest with all of you, to be honest with myself.

Love you guys, Thanks for listening.

Tawny